


I Write Sins Not Tragedies

by canyousonicmedoctor



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 07:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2573189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyousonicmedoctor/pseuds/canyousonicmedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re getting married tomorrow,” Regina tries one last time. It’s the only defense she has left.</p>
<p>“I’m not married right now.” Emma smiles in that self-deprecating way she always does. Oh, it’s such a flimsy excuse and they both know that the technicalities don’t matter but it’s a lie they can fall into without all the pesky guilt. It might be wrong but it’s so much easier to lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Write Sins Not Tragedies

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this piece back in May and it got shoved to the side in favor of summer activities, Camp NaNoWriMo, the beginnings of senior year and college applications. So now, after much ado, here it is!
> 
> Title taken from Panic! at the Disco song of the same name. If you're familiar with the song, you will see why.

It takes all of Emma’s willpower to not flinch when she feels strong, far too muscular arms wrap around her waist. Killian pulls her back against him, nuzzling his face into her neck. His beard scratches against the skin there unpleasantly.

 

“Tomorrow is the day, love,” he smiles against her skin. She makes a noise of affirmation, too preoccupied in her own thoughts to really talk. “Are you looking forward to it as much as I am?”

 

Emma turns in Killian’s arms to face him. “Of course I am,” she tells him and if she tries hard enough she can almost make herself believe it. “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” Emma would gladly keep on waiting, pushing this particular event back until it doesn’t matter or she could maybe convince herself it doesn’t matter.

 

“Aye. We have to wait only a short while longer,” Killian grins and looks at her like he expects her to swoon from that alone. Emma knows that Killian is attractive. _Killian_ knows he’s attractive. He has this rugged quality that she might have found irresistible years ago. Now, Emma finds she only can appreciate the fact that many people think he’s beautiful. The way everyone in this town is so thrilled for tomorrow is certainly a testimony to that fact. The savior is finding love with the reformed villain. It’s the perfect fairytale ending.

 

But when she kisses him, she doesn’t feel anything; she does it because that’s what you do when you’re engaged to someone.

 

“But right now, you,” Emma pokes her finger into his chest at least partially as a way to put a few more inches between them, “have to go get ready for your party and I have to get ready for mine.” Killian pouts, dropping his hands lower to cup Emma’s ass. She steps back at the contact, trying her best to look less annoyed and more like she’s simply scolding him for trying something now. It’s so hard to push down her less than overwhelmingly positive feelings but the past few weeks have been so stressful she simply does not have the patience for it.

 

“Fine,” Killian sighs, stepping back into Emma’s space to kiss her roughly. He licks sloppily at her lips in his attempt to deepen the kiss and if Emma wasn’t so used to the subpar way he kisses her, she probably wouldn’t have been able to put up with it right now.  Emma allows it, not really responding but not disengaging either. Eventually, Killian lets her go with a satisfied grin. “Until tomorrow, love.”

 

Emma nods, smiling convincingly enough. Once Killian leaves the room she grabs her party dress and shoes before leaving the far too small apartment. She would rather get ready at Snow’s than stay here for much longer.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mom,” Henry whines, looking up at Regina with pleading eyes. “Why can’t I go to Hook’s party?” At the disbelieving glance that earns him, he adds, “Or Emma’s?” With no change in the way Regina’s looking at him, does the best puppy dog eyes he possibly can. “Everyone is going!”

 

“You are far too young to be going to a bachelor party,” Regina explains, running a placating hand over the top of his head. “Or a bachelorette party for that matter. Plus, Alice should be here any minute. You always have a good time when she watches you.” Regina puts in her earrings and straightens up away from the mirror. The doorbell rings. “And there she is.”

 

Regina steps into her heels before answering the door. The petite blonde girl comes inside, setting her bag down on the table in the foyer.

 

“I will be back around midnight, hopefully. I’ll let you know if the plans change,” she promises Alice. Kneeling down, she hugs Henry tightly. It doesn’t completely quell her nerves for the upcoming party but the way he hugs her back just as tightly is enough to at least dampen them.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” Regina kisses his forehead gently, hoping that she’ll see him much sooner rather than later.  She gathers up her purse and keys and heads out of the manor, leaving a very concerned little boy behind her.

 

It doesn’t take her any longer than ten minutes to get to the Rabbit Hole where Emma’s bachelorette party is taking place. In that time Regina makes sure her mask of friendly excitement is in place. It had been easier to wrestle into place all those years ago when the feelings she fought so hard to hide didn’t matter.

 

Telling herself it doesn’t matter, she enters the dimly lit bar. Immediately Snow rushes over and sweeps her into a hug. She still has to get used to how much the woman insists on hugging. But if that’s what it takes for her to prove she’s changed…well, she’ll gladly put up with it.

_No_ , her traitorous mind reminds her. _That isn’t the only thing you’re doing to prove yourself._ Being with her soul mate certainly showed everyone how much she’d changed. Being in love is a powerful motivator, according to everyone in this sickeningly optimistic town.

 

“The party is this way,” Snow explains, leading her through the bar and into a back room. The lighting is marginally better than in the main room. Although, Regina concedes in her mind, it could simply be the way Emma seemingly lights up the room, her happiness radiating outward from her place in the center. After all, what did the woman not have to be happy about?

 

Regina wants nothing more but to turn tail and run. She severely overestimated her ability to stand to be in the same room as Emma when the blonde looks so _ecstatic_ about the upcoming nuptials. However, she that option is stolen from her- along with all the breath in her lungs- when Emma turns to meet her eye. Regina stiffens in Snow’s hold but either she doesn’t notice or doesn’t question it.

 

Emma walks over to them encased in a form fitting blue dress that only serves to bring out the intensity of her green eyes. Regina does her best not to stare. “Friends” don’t generally gawk at other friends. Not that Regina would ever do anything that anyone with a brain cell would call gawking. Still, it is a difficult endeavor.

 

Emma wraps Snow up in a hug and a bright smile. When she turns to greet Regina, she hesitates only for a moment before she wraps her arms around her. Regina tentatively returns the gesture, not entirely sure what to do in this particular situation.

 

“Thanks for coming,” Emma murmurs into Regina’s ear. Regina suppresses the shiver that tries to run through her at Emma’s proximity and soft voice so close to her ear.

 

“Of course,” Regina replies, the words getting choked in her throat but she manages to force them out. The exchanging of pleasantries feels so forced with Emma now.  While she wanted this whole ordeal- the party, the wedding- to be over, she did not want to let Emma go. She didn’t know when she would get the chance to as much as hug Emma after tonight. She pulls back to get a good look at Emma this close up. There is an unmistakable sadness in the other woman’s eyes, but then Emma blinks and it’s gone. She wonders if it was ever there to begin with or if it was merely wishful thinking.

 

“Emma, Regina,” Ruby calls them over with a grin. “Come on! Get over here. First round is on me.”

 

* * *

 

Regina is not drunk. Not like Snow or Ruby or even Belle who, surprisingly enough, passed tipsy two drinks ago. Certainly not like Emma who, as the guest of honor, has been given every liberty to let loose on her last night of freedom. Regina, however, has a son to go home to. No matter how much she wants to drink to forget everything and not have to _feel_ right now. That’s always been her problem. She feels things too strongly.

 

Regina watches, half-amused and half-subdued as Emma dances with her friends and mother. She looks so happy and carefree, having a good time celebrating her impending marriage to Hook. It makes Regina’s heart constrict painfully. She’d long since come to terms with her feelings for Emma, but having them reciprocated for as long as they’d been and then having them torn away…it hurts worse than any physical pain she’s endured.

 

It seems, at that point, that Emma realizes one of their party is missing. Glancing around, her eyes land on Regina and a large grin spreads across her face. She walks much more gracefully than the average person would with her blood alcohol content.

 

“Regina,” she whines. “Why aren’t you dancing?” She pouts and Regina knows it’s deliberate. Regina never has been able to be upset with Emma when she looks as endearing as she does with those puppy dog eyes.

 

Despite her sobriety, Regina finds that she wants to pretend at least for a little while. If she’s drunk, she’ll at least be afforded a bit of freedom away from what’s expected of her. Everyone always has expectations.

 

“I…I didn’t feel steady enough,” she explained, adding just a hint of a slur to her voice to enhance the effect.

 

“You can lean on me,” Emma promises, her voice deepening ever so slightly, into her ear. It’s enough to send thrills of heat into Regina’s lower abdomen. It’s almost embarrassing how much of an effect the other woman has on her. Emma helps pull her up and she trips accidentally-on-purpose, falling into her. Emma’s arms automatically wrap around Regina to steady them. It’s then that she is able to recognize that maybe this wasn’t as good of a plan as she’d originally thought.

 

They walk out to the dance floor, Emma leading Regina by the hand. Emma had meant it when she said that Regina could lean on her. Or rather, that Emma wanted Regina to lean on her, judging by the way Emma keeps Regina close to her.

 

As they find a place among the many bodies, a hard, fast techno beat starts up.

 

Emma moves with the music, her limbs fluid, sensual, graceful in a way that is absent most of the time. The skin of Regina’s neck prickles as her body temperature rockets up five or so degrees just from watching Emma move. She forces herself to relax and sway back and forth to the music. Playing it safe is the only way she’s going to keep herself from doing something stupid. Emma is barely paying attention to her as it is, going so far as to face away from her while they dance. Regina takes a deep breath and tries to gather her wits.

But then Emma leans back against her, still swaying her hips in that hypnotically fluid way and every single thought flies out of Regina’s mind.

 

Emma continues dancing as if nothing about this is out of the ordinary. Regina is acutely aware of the press of Emma’s body against her front, of the way her hips are moving so closely to her own, swirling and gyrating back and forth with no regard for Regina’s sanity. Regina does her best not to stiffen and while she’s startled, she finds herself relaxing against Emma’s back much more quickly than she would like.

 

Somehow, this is not what she had pictured when she got up to dance with Emma.

 

After a brief dilemma about where to put her hands, she rests them on Emma’s hips. Her fingers curl around the soft fabric and hard edges of Emma’s hips. The air between them thickens; the space between them grows impossibly smaller without either of them moving closer.

 

Emma drapes her arm over Regina’s neck as they move together. From that angle she can look up at Regina through her lashes which does a strange thing to Regina’s stomach involving a seal and a particularly bouncy and unstable ball. Their faces are far too close, much too close, and someone is bound to notice. Regina finds she doesn’t actually care. She can’t care with Emma pressed against every inch of her, with Emma’s hips pressing against her own and with Emma looking up at her with _that_ look in her eyes.

 

Regina bites her lip, doing her best to suppress the overwhelming urge to kiss Emma. They don’t have that kind of relationship anymore. That relationship ended the moment Emma got a ring on her finger and she continues to tell herself that in the hopes that her mind will actually absorb that information despite Emma’s closeness.

 

The way Emma licks her lips severely tests Regina’s strength of will. She’s about to give in to her desire when the music switches to something slow and sweet and definitely not something that belongs in a shady bar. Emma’s face changes into a smile that seems almost embarrassed before turning around to face Regina. Her hands remain stationary on Emma’s hips while the blonde hooks her arms over Regina’s neck. Now able to look properly at Emma, Regina finds herself being drawn into her eyes and into a place where nothing exists outside of the circle of Emma’s arms and where they move on the dance floor.

 

“I’m really happy you came,” Emma admits and she still has that smile on her face that makes Regina’s will turn to flimsy, malleable seaweed with Emma’s lips acting as her current. There is genuine happiness on Emma’s face and Regina allows herself to believe it, making her heart constrict pleasurably.

 

“As am I,” Regina agrees because what can she do but tell the truth? She hopes

Emma won’t remember this in the morning. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

Emma blinks up at Regina, her eyes filled with a particular sort of look that Regina has seen before but never has been able to figure out and hasn’t once seen directed at that insufferable pirate. She leans closer to Regina, eyes doing aerobatics between Regina’s eyes and lips. Regina stays perfectly still, not wanting to risk anything breaking the spell between them. It takes a lifetime of held breaths and unblinking uncertainty before Emma is kissing Regina softly, right there on the dance floor.

 

Regina kisses her back immediately and without thought, something in the vicinity of her heart exploding outward into thousands of razor sharp shards at the feeling of Emma’s lips on hers again. For a second Regina manages to keep her hands rooted on Emma’s hips for fear of startling her. However, as Emma presses against her so that not even air can pass between their bodies, she entangles one hand in long blonde hair. She loses herself in the kiss, happy have this once more, this moment of absolute bliss and oblivion.  

 

It doesn’t take long for the reality of the situation to hit Regina and she wrenches herself away from Emma, staggering back a step with the momentum of the movement. Emma’s eyes shine with hurt and confusion that she has no right to feel. Regina takes a deep breath but she can’t seem to get enough oxygen into her lungs to clear the haze from behind her eyes.

 

“Emma,” she protests when the girl steps toward her again. She isn’t even bothering with the pretense of being drunk anymore because it doesn’t matter now. Drunk or not, if someone saw them this could end up very messy. She glances around but no one seems to be paying any attention. The tightness constricting her chest loosens a notch or two but it’s still not enough.

 

“Regina, please.” Emma reaches towards her slowly, pleadingly, her hand wrapping carefully around Regina’s as though she is coaxing a wild animal into submission. Regina wants to fall into the gentle warmth Emma is providing, but she knows that it’s really an inferno and if she allows herself to get tangled up in it now she will only end up with burns and scars. Emma laces their fingers together and Regina knows she’s screwed when she can’t even bring herself to pull away.

 

“You’re getting married tomorrow,” Regina tries one last time. It’s the only defense she has left.

 

“I’m not married right now.” Emma smiles in that self-deprecating way she always does. Oh, it’s such a flimsy excuse and they both know that the technicalities don’t matter but it’s a lie they can fall into without all the pesky guilt. It might be wrong but it’s so much easier to lie.

 

“Not here,” Regina commands and Emma nods. There’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of Emma’s reddened lips as though she is trying to keep from breaking out into one of those grins that radiates light the way only the Savior can. Regina isn’t quite sure if she wants to laugh or cry.

 

Emma tells Snow that Regina doesn’t feel well and obviously Emma needs to help take care of her as a friend and as the party’s host. Regina looks down, a hand clamped over her stomach and it’s not even acting as her stomach twists the more she thinks about what exactly is going on.

 

However, she doesn’t have to do much more than stand there before Emma’s arm is around her shoulders, guiding her to the bathroom like a child- or perhaps, more accurately, a lamb to the slaughter. Away from Snow’s prying eyes, she can relax against Emma’s side and the anxiety in her stomach begins to feel more like anticipation.

 

In the bathroom, there is just enough light to see, much like the rest of the bar. Regina can barely make out Emma’s face in the brief second before she is pushed up against the bathroom door and she’s kissing Emma to quench the self-loathing and desire swirling through her.

 

They start off slow, hesitant almost, in a way that is so incongruous to where they are. Regina has experienced plenty of last times to know what they feel like and with this one she is determined to make it last as long as she can.

 

It doesn’t take long  before Emma grabs hold of the proverbial reigns and Regina finds herself sitting on the edge of the faux-porcelain sink that probably hasn’t been washed in a decade with Emma situated between her legs. The kisses turn urgent as Emma wraps her arms around Regina's waist. Regina kisses her back with a desperation she hadn't even fully recognized until that moment.

 

Emma drops her hand to Regina's thigh and begins to slide upward. The movement of her hand is slow and unhurried, a start contrast to the way their mouths move against each other. Regina finds herself appreciating the slower pace. If Emma moves to fast Regina thinks she might break apart under her touch.

 

Regina gasps into Emma's mouth when her fingers find their way around the elastic of her underwear and she can't stop the tears that spring to her eyes and she pushes forwards against the hand. Her eyes squeeze shut to not let the tears to fall but it feels so _right_ , even here in a dingy bathroom. She would have thought that after being with Robin for so long she wouldn't be affected quite this much. Clearly she was wrong.

 

Then Emma's inside her and she drops her head and bites down on her lip because if she doesn't she's going to let everyone in the bar know exactly what they're doing. "Look at me," Emma demands and Regina is reminded of how much Emma liked to look her in the eyes while in bed but it feels too intimate, too real here and it's too much. Still, Regina complies, forcing her head up and eyes open.

 

The tears in Regina's eyes are blatantly obvious if the way Emma's brows furrow together is any sort of indication. Regina doesn't want to deal with the confusion and, god forbid, pity in Emma's gaze so she plants her hands on either side of Emma's face and pulls her into a kiss. It's sharp and infused with the sort of warning that always lingered underneath their interactions when they began of all this. For a moment she feels like it is five months ago and she's not in pain. It only lasts a moment.

 

With their mouths moving together and Emma's fingers curling inside her at just the right spot, Regina's orgasm breaks over her without warning, overwhelming in its tender intensity. It isn't until Emma breaks away from her that she has a chance to wipe away the tears from her cheeks.

 

Emma doesn't ask what's wrong because it's obvious. Regina won't offer up an explanation, either. Especially not when she sees Emma's eyes take on the sheen of unshed tears. Instead of works she wraps Regina up in the warmth of a hug, allowing Regina to hide her face for a moment while she tries to get herself under control and afford Emma the same courtesy.

 

It takes a few minutes longer than Regina would have liked to pull herself together enough to face Emma again. Her eyes are red and puffy and if she wants to go out there and face everyone she'll have to re-apply her makeup and yet the way Emma looks at her makes her want to burst into tears again. She manages to restrain herself. Instead, she wraps a leg around Emma, pulling her closer while using one hand to lift up the hem of Emma's dress; desperate to do anything to distance herself from the stifling heaviness of her current emotions.

 

"Hey," Emma whispers needlessly because no one is around to hear them, stopping Regina's hand with her own. "I'm okay," she explains and kisses Regina softly, briefly, once more. "Let's stay here for a minute, okay?"

 

Already, though, Regina can feel herself closing up; shoving up walls; donning armor; doing everything she can to bury the hurt and the _love_ she feels for Emma down away from sight. Without the intimacy there as a catalyst, there is nothing to distract from what they're doing. It was easier when neither of them were attached to anyone else so seriously.

 

"I'm sorry, but I really do need to get home to Henry," Regina deadpans, her voice very nearly monotone to keep it from wavering. She slides off the counter as gracefully as she can. It takes every ounce of strength she has to hold herself up, to not fall into Emma anymore than she already has. "Goodnight, Emma. I suppose I will see you tomorrow," she says as she exits the bathroom, leaving her heart behind and staring dumbfounded after her.

 

Regina manages to get halfway home before she is forced to pull over because her vision is too blurred to drive safely.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma wakes up to a pounding headache and a far too happy mother. "Wake up, honey," Snow grins down at her. "Come on. You can't sleep in today."

 

Emma groans inwardly but opens her eyes to appease Snow. "I'm up, don't worry." She struggles into a sitting position and immediately regrets the decision. The pounding in her head increases tenfold with the movement. "Can I get some water?" She’s barely able to finish the question before Snow is producing a glass of water and two asprin from the bedside table.

 

"Come on, Emma," Snow insists after a few seconds of silence. "We've got a lot to get done today and only a short while to do it." Snow points to the folded pile of clothes. "Get dressed and we can head over to the church." With that she leave a very awake and nervous Emma alone to get dressed and contemplate the survival rate of jumping out of a third story window.

 

They're at the church within thirty minutes. Emma is dressed, fed, and so nervous she feels like she might be sick. Ruby and Belle are waiting in the back room to help get her ready. Regina is nowhere to be seen. Snow is seconds away from calling Regina up and demanding she get there when Emma stops her. She hadn’t exactly thought about it until Snow said her name but Emma remembers everything that happened the night before. Particularly, how they left it.

 

If Snow notices the way she flushes shamefully, she doesn't say anything about it.

 

"She's probably on her way," Emma soothes the frantic woman. "You know she doesn't like being late." While she selfishly wants Regina to be there as a sort of twisted moral support, she at least wants Regina to have an excuse and to not be pressured into showing up by Snow.

 

"Sorry I'm late," Regina apologizes as she walks through the door. She offers no other explanation but it's enough. The apology catches Emma off guard and maybe it was because of how much time they'd spent together ever since they managed to get rid of Zelena but it finally hits her how much Regina has changed. Months ago, Regina wouldn't have even considered having those words fall out of her mouth and would have snapped at anyone for suggesting she say so.

 

Emma knows she's been trying so hard to be seen as redeemed rather than a villain and Emma had thought that maybe she could have helped. Regina wouldn't have it though, not when she was already with Robin and people were beginning to see her as something other than evil. Not that Emma has any room to pass judgement. She doesn't love Hook. Everyone expects them to be together and it's so easy to be with someone who loves you more than you love them.

 

"Don't worry," Snow assures her, ten years worth of stress vanishing from her face now that Regina's standing in front of her. "We have two hours to get Emma ready so we'd better get started." Regina is looking everywhere in the room but at Emma as she nods.

 

The three of them start to work on getting Emma all set for her "big day" as Snow keeps saying. She feels far too much like a rag doll being pushed and prodded and painted to really invest herself into what's going on. It’s a welcome sensation, to be able to pretend like all of this is happening to someone else. The only time she's really aware of her surroundings is when Regina is doing her hair up into a "princess bun" as Snow calls it. Regina runs her fingers through Emma's hair, pressing pleasantly against her scalp. It's not unlike the times when they would be in bed and Regina would lull her to sleep cuddling her and playing with her hair.

 

Far too quickly, Emma finds herself in her billowy white gown with less than half an hour until the ceremony is meant to start. She just...needs a moment to breathe away from her friends who are more excited for her wedding than she is. "Hey guys. Can you gimme a sec?" she asks and they all nod understandingly before shuffling out of the room. At the last minute she calls out, "Regina?" and Regina looks at her for the first time that morning. "I think there's a pin loose in my hair or something. Can you fix it?"

 

"Of course." Regina nods with a brittle smile. The others in the group make their way out of the room, leaving her and Emma alone.

 

Emma sits down in the chair in front of the vanity placed right up next to the only window in the room. From her vantage point she can see the dogwood trees in full bloom. While Regina searches her hair for the fabled loose pin, Emma studies her face in the mirror. She'd gotten so used to seeing her so often, she hadn't realized how much she would miss having the luxury of looking at Regina until that was gone.

 

"I don't see anything wrong-"

 

"I'm sorry," Emma interrupts, knowing that there isn't anything wrong. Well, not with her hair at least. "Last night, I was...I'm sorry."

 

"It was cruel," Regina says barely above a whisper. "You know how I feel and you took advantage of the fact that I wouldn't say no. There was a part of me that thought- _hoped_ that you might have done the right thing and wouldn't show up here this morning. I should have known better.” She should have known Emma isn’t strong enough to do that.

 

"The right thing?" Regina, I'm engaged!" Emma announces like this is new to anyone. Regina flinches at the words. "How is running off with you now the 'right thing'?"

 

"It's the right thing to do for you. You deserve to find happiness," Regina explains, still trying her best to whisper so their companions out in the hall don't hear. "And it is not with the pirate." It's not a question.

 

Emma visibly crumples at that. "I'm trying," she sighs, dropping her head forward. Everything about this day has been too much and it's only 11:30. "But Snow and David are so excited for this and...I can't let them down." She's finally found her family and with no new threat or distraction, she's realized she's still afraid of not being good enough for them. "I'm trying to make this work, okay?"

 

"Tell me this," Regina prefaces, her voice cold and hard and closed off but Emma knows her well enough to recognize the slight tremor as she speaks. "Is this what you want?" Regina glares at her through the mirror, her gaze so intense that Emma can't even consider looking away even as her vision begins to cloud.

 

"No," she chokes out, unable to speak above the quietest of whispers in the sudden, oppressive silence of the room.

 

Regina stares at her for a few long moments. Emma blinks rapidly, forcing back the tears that gather in her eyes. She would hate to have to explain to Belle how her makeup became smudged. Without saying anything else, Regina leaves the room, leaving Emma alone with the task of composing herself for the ordeal ahead.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The pews of the church are stiff and uncomfortable. Regina feels her tailbone going numb from sitting on the hard surface for too long. There's far too much feeling in the rest of her body with Robin's arm draped around her shoulders, tucking her into his side possessively.

 

"What's wrong, dearest?" he asks her after some time of sitting in tense silence. Henry, who normally would normally have filled the silence with his never-ending chatter about anything and everything that catches his interest, is waiting in the hall as the ring bearer. Even Roland is occupied playing with the other children. There's no distraction from her thoughts centered solely on the woman no doubt standing just outside of the chapel in the lobby.

 

Robin is looking at her with concern, though, and it's not his fault she can't give every part of herself to him. She does her best to put on the mask she’s presented to people for so long, sitting up straight and smiling as convincingly as she can.

 

"Nothing, Robin," she assures him, the soothing tone in her voice sounding forced to her own ears. "Just…thinking, dear."

 

"Oh?" He smiles lasciviously and Regina has to repress an involuntary shudder. "About what, exactly?" She can't exactly tell him what's on her mind and it's obvious what he thinks it is. She doesn't get a chance to formulate a convincing lie, though, when the bridal march begins playing and the doors at the back of the room are thrown open.

 

Regina and the other patrons turn in their seats. All of the breath she had rushes out of her lungs at once. She'd seen Emma in her dress not more than twenty minutes ago, but there is something about the way she looks in the archway of the church that makes her look all the more beautiful.

 

As Emma makes her way down the aisle, Regina is simply glad for the excuse to stare. Everyone in the room is looking at the happy bride, after all. It isn't until Emma gets to the front of the church and she sees Killian smiling like he won the lottery that Regina can find it within herself to look away.

 

Regina stares at a random spot on the wall as the Officiant begins the ceremony. She doesn't want to be here, much less watch this train wreck in action. It's painful and horrid that Emma even invited her and yet here she is offering herself up to the pain like the masochist she is.

 

It's easy to tune out the Officiant's droning voice- honestly, who asked Sleepy to do this, of all people?- until he asks the crowd, "If anyone has reason for these two not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

 

A thousand and one reasons shoot to the forefront of Regina's mind, but she has enough tact and understanding of Emma's wishes to not voice any of them. This is ultimately Emma's choice, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't coming to fruition. Regina cares about Emma too much to interfere with what she claims to want.

 

The silence in the church suffocating, but maybe it's only Regina that feels that way. The Officiant opens his mouth to speak again but then Snow stands up and everyone turns to stare. A gaps ripples through the crowd as the petite brunette speaks up. "Wait," she calls out over the audience. "This isn't right, Emma and you know that. I know you don't want this." Emma's eyes widen in shock, and confusion and, more than anything else, fear. "I heard you earlier. If this isn't what you want, please don't think that I, or your father, with love you any less." Snow wipes a tear from her face, making the happenings about herself as always even while Emma blushes with embarrassment. Regina mirrors Emma's reaction, fear and trepidation creeping over her. "If you'll be happy...with Regina," Snow hesitates on her name, "then be with her."

 

Panic surges through Regina as the entire congregation turns to look at her. Robin places his hand on her arm and it's too much. Wrenching her arm away, she jumps up, every instinct she has in her telling her to flee.

 

So she does. 

 

* * *

 

 

Emma _hates_ being the center of attention. She always has, ever since she was young and would be paraded out in front of families looking to adopt a kid. And yet, she never knew how deep that hatred ran until now that she has been outed at her own wedding. Killian looks at her like he's torn between sobbing and yelling at her. A few faces in the crowd reflect the sentiment as well.

 

There's only one person whose opinion matters at this point. Emma makes eye contact with Snow. She smiles encouragingly and nods at Emma. Feeling a hand on her elbow, Emma finds herself facing Belle. She supposes that if anyone knows what it's like to love someone with dubious morals, that person would be Belle. "Go after her," she advises, with Ruby smiling encouragingly in the background.

 

So she does.

 

Emma breaks just about every speeding law in her haste to get to 108 Mifflin. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as both of the members of the town's law enforcement are a bit preoccupied at the moment. Regina's car is sitting in the driveway when she arrives, which Emma takes as a good sign. At least she's here and not hiding off somewhere.

 

Stepping out of the car, Emma realizes she is still in her wedding gown. She doesn't have anything to change into, so it will simply have to do. She knocks on the white-washed door and waits with bated breath, holding onto the slightest of hopes that Regina might answer.

 

After what feels like forever, the door swings open slowly, like Regina is afraid of who might be on the other side. When she and Emma make eye contact, it seems like whatever force had previously been holding her up before deserts her completely. She presses a hand over her face and sags against the doorway. Emma can't move quickly enough to help Regina up. It's not anything remotely close but it's a start to fixing the mess she's created.

 

Regina isn't one to let people see her weaknesses, at least not for long and Emma is no exception. Even though it looks like it takes more strength that she currently possesses, Regina manages to lift herself up from off of the doorway to stand up straight. Turning away from Emma, she walks farther into the house but leaves the door standing open. Emma follows, knowing very well it's the best invitation she is going to get.

 

When Emma shuts the door behind her, Regina turns around to look at her. Her face is closed off and hard, so unlike it was mere moments ago; the flawless, well worn mask of a former evil queen. "What are you doing here?"

 

"Well, I couldn't exactly stay there, you know?" Emma shrugs and smiles self-deprecatingly. "I wasn't really needed there anymore anyways."

 

"And you assume that after all that, you're needed- _wanted_ here?" Regina asks, her voice a shard of ice thrust into Emma’s chest with precision and unerring knowledge of the victim. While most people would have been taken aback by her caustic tone, Emma recognizes the defense mechanism. She's known Regina long enough and well enough to pick up on that.

 

"Well I had hoped..." Emma trails off. Something about the way Emma says it makes all of Regina's tumultuous emotions explode outward in a fit of anger boiling just under the surface since this morning when she'd woken up and had to face everything that today meant.

 

"Emma, this isn't a game! You can't show up here and expect, after everything that I will run off into your sunset fantasy land with you" Regina shouts, finally free to do so now that they are alone. It’s the first time they’ve really been alone since the engagement.

 

"For the first time in a very long time, people have stopped looking at me like I'm evil. Finally I'm past that. Now that's all that anyone will ever see me as: 'The Corruptor the Savior,' of whatever else they'll think to call me." Regina is frantic and Emma wants to go to her, to keep on trying to fix this _somehow_ but Regina might shut down completely.

 

"I can't...I won't let anyone think badly about you for being a person; for falling in love?" They'd exchanged the words so many times before, but now... Emma learned a long time ago not to assume how people feel. It only makes things harder on herself.

 

"You can't make any sort of guarantee. You don't control these people," Regina protests but at least she is not shouting anymore.

 

"Then screw everyone else. Damn it, Regina, I don't care if that sounds naive or stupid or... _whatever_. The only thing that I care about is that you are happy. You deserve happiness," she tells Regina, parroting her words from earlier.

 

Regina stares at her for a long moment. Emma doesn't so much as blink, not when everything that matters hangs on this moment, on whether or not Regina thinks Emma is worth the risk; whether or not Regina deems Emma worth forgiving.

 

In three steps Regina is in front of her, eyes boring into her own, looking for something that Emma can only hope is there. Something changes in the set of Regina’s mouth or the glint in her eyes and, after only a moment of hesitation, she is kissing her. Hard.

 

Emma smiles against her lips, pouring all of her love and affection and pure hope into the kiss. It's more than she could have hoped for and everything she wanted and everything she'll ever need. If she could live in one moment for the rest of her life, it would be this one, so full of promise and hope for whatever will come their way. It's a future for the two of them. It's a happy ending.

 

This is where her happy ending is. She threw it away once and learned from her mistake. Emma Swan can very certainly say that _that_ is never going to happen again.


End file.
